NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
