That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
