Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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