do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
