Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize