I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
