I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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