come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
