Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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