saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
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