Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize