I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize