we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
