all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
