M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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