He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
