someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
