She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
only you would photoshop your dick
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
