Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
