you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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