I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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