Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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