He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
