I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
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