shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Threesome in a minivan. New low
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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