just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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