I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
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