my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Never underestimate the power of titties
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
