garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
