I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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