I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
