I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Randomize