You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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