I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
