Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
i now understand why vodka
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
