you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
