They should really pass out barf bags in church
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
