in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
