I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
