I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
