I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
