there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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