i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
