This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
