i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
