before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
