Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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