Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
