At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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