Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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