Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize