Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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