i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
