whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
