So drunk its hurt
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
