saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Randomize
