your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize