i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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