so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
