I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
