So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
