You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize