She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
