Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
