I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
