What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
