The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
