She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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