He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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