You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
You made out with two different species that night
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
