I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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