his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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