you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize