What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
