One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
