i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Congratulations! We have a period
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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