You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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