i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
