sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
