he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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