I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
