Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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