well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize