What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize