kristin has been a bad kristin
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Randomize
