when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
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